It was almost 12 o'clock and she was still stuck and fighting with her thoughts. "It is difficult to fight with the world and even more difficult to fight with yourself", she said. There was actually no one listening to her except those posters of her favourite sportsperson, 3 teddies and her own childhood picture. Yes, there were few cockroaches moving around along with mosquitoes but she never regarded them as her friends. Whenever she felt lonely and wanted to pour her heart out, she either talked to the poster or the teddies or her own picture.
Yes! She had friends ofcourse and nearly 5 of them knew every inch of her but she sometimes prefered self talk and didn't want to make her friends bored from her same old talk. Sometimes she would type the messages to her dear ones but something would stop her from sending it. "My biggest problem is me myself and the solution to it is also within me." Sometimes she would try to convience herself from these words.
She was lying in the bed listening to that tick tock in the clock and twar twar of the frogs. Somewhere she could even hear a child crying. "Childhood" she just flowed back to her past. "I was so shy back then and too emotional." She just had flashbacks of those days which brought a smile in her face but soon that smile faded away when she realised today she was still emotional but lost her shy nature. She had stared to lose patience these days and anything simple could disturb her inner peace and after that the act she performed that was beyond her control. "This is not what was meant to be. I should not be what I am becoming. The society at the end will not accept me. My friends, my lifestyle, my study everything will be blamed. I am a girl and the society won't allow a girl to become this aggressive. Aggressiveness is for boys", she said to herself.
"Wait! what if I was a boy? Maybe my life would have been more easier. I think if I was a part of different society, I could have become someone else". Her thoughts went on and on. Poor little girl she was not aware that her main problem was her "over thinking nature" which almost ate her together with depression. Her mind was getting full of rotten thoughts which was limiting her ability. Maybe she was just seeking a hand which would tap on her shoulders and say " Chill Champ! You are over thinking a lot. Every thing will be alright just go with the flow."
